GaGa's Penis vs. DC Dementors: When do you bet against Peyton Manning? When he's up against the Saints. Unfortunately, the Dementors don't have any New Orleans players but could make it a much closer game than ESPN projects. Watch for breakout games from Jerome Harrison and Malcolm Floyd, two great later round picks from DC. Interestingly enough, GGP will rely on two Saints, Pierre Thomas and Robert Meachem to compliment what will be almost certainly a huge day for Chris Johnson vs. oakland. Pick: Gaga's Penis
Team Box vs. Chelsea Pirates: The Pirate's backfield of Frank Gore, Rashard Mendenhall, and Jahvid Best may be the best in Turducken. And with Brandon Marshall, Dwayne Bowe, and Dallas Clark all bound to score a ton of points off receptions, the Pirates only downfall this year may be once again at quarterback. Team Box, on the other hand, has two future hall of famers in Brett Favre and Donovan McNabb behind center. Brett Favre gets the call against New Orleans, but a stroke of bad luck for Team Box - their star RBs and WR are all up against some of the league's best defenses. Pick: Chelsea Pirates
Oaktown Griz vs. Team Murkin Man: The battle of the Bay Area, past vs. present. This game comes down to how many points Houston can store vs. Indianapolis as TMM puts its faith in #1 draft pick Matt Schaub and RB Arian Foster. The other big question here is how many points will Ray Rice score against the Jets? Oaktown might not have as flashy a roster, but if Green Bay scores a lot of points against Philadelphia (by no means a guarantee) they'll have a great shot to pull a big week 1 upset against last year's runner up. Pick: Team Murkin Man
Manhattan Maddenisms vs. GSO Bayern Ballboys: Two of last year's top scoring teams will face off in what will likely be Week 1's highest scoring matchup. Maddenisms QB Matt Ryan has a tough task against a hungry Pittsburgh defense, but will likely get a lot of opportunities to drive Atlanta down the field as Dennis Dixon will inevitably go three and out at least a few times. If Aaron Rodgers finds Jermichael Finley for a couple of touchdowns, either team could score over 150 points and still lose. Pick: Maddenisms.
PreSeason Champs vs. Kathleen Turner Overdrive (game 1 of this week's Brooklyn Bowl 2010): Drew Brees is going to score a lot of points this week, and it will be up to Philip Rivers to make up the difference despite the absence of WR Vincent Jackson. Brandon Jacobs, Jonathan Stewart, and Jamaal Charles can all score a lot of points, but will they all contribute the same week? Pick: PreSeason Champs
GAME OF THE WEEK (GOTW): The other half of Brooklyn Bowl of 2010, BKLYN Brwlers vs. Turducken newbie the Gowanus Growlers. A truly great matchup that's too close to call - even ESPN has a projected final score of 128.5 to 127. The Growlers seem to have better matchups than the Brwlers at first glance (Jay cutler vs. Detroit, Ronnie Brown/Ricky Williams vs buffalo, and Larry Fitzgerald vs. St. Louis (SOMONE will pick up Derek Anderson prematurely after he passes for 400 yards and 4 TDs this week). This game will come down to the possible resurgence of Calvin Johnson, the dependability of Donald Driver, and the promise of rookie RB Ryan Matthews. Pick: Too close to call.
The winner of the Brooklyn Bowl will be the team from Brooklyn with the best record against the other BK teams. Contestants? Brklyn Brwlers, Gowanus Growlers, Pre Season Champs, and Kathleen Turner Overdrive. The trophy? a tallboy of PBR.